Epocalymus

As I reflected upon the subject, which some of my friends have asked me or spoken to me about – the issue of realising my goal in life, I came to an incomplete conclusion regarding the definition of life’s goal or, put it simply, life’s ultimate purpose. Someone asked me this, “So, what are your plans and what do you want to do with your life?”. A part of me began to wander off into wonderland, leaving much of my souless body in reality. But another half of me just want to live a simple life. It seems that I have gone through, in my opinion, quite a lot of complications that made me the way I am today. According to my father, I was told that living a life of simplicity would be ideally a happy one. Yet, on the other hand, some people told me to make plans and consider the many factors that come into play when deciding upon important issues like marriage or career et cetera. Ironically, such caring words, confused me further. How can I live simply and yet, consider other factors which inevitably makes decision-making even more complicated? How does one define simplicity? How does one define good decisions? Does a good decision have to be one that leads a person to a happy ending or a life of satisfaction? I shall be brief in addressing these questions in my own opinion.

First, what is my goal in life? I may be one who disagrees most of what Sigmund Freud wrote, but to answer the former question regarding my goal in life, I would totally agree with Freud’s quote (Brown & Lasch, 1985) that “the goal of all life is death” (p.100). This is because death, as what I have learnt today, is the equalizer of life. Regardless of one’s status, authority, fame, glory, race, culture, or intelligence, the fact remains; that all men shall be confronted with the reality of death. So what now? Since the fact that we would all be dead in a few or couple of decades’ time (assuming you are in your youth), what is your perception of this? What is your reaction toward this fact?

I have met some atheists who have trouble accepting the fact that death is something which we ought to be preparing for. It is true that life is short, but it is not completely true that death is the end of life. In fact, I shall remain agnostic about coming into the conclusion that there is life after death, for I have neither physically died, nor strongly believe in the existence of the spiritual realm. How would I know if I would live after I die? I do not even know if heaven or God will be waiting for me up there or wherever one chooses to postulate, but I think it is rather essential to prepare for the ultimate goal for everyone, which is death. Why must we prepare for death?

There is a simple research study done by Jaime Kurtz of Pomona College, which revealed the importance of looking into the future, by considering its imminent conclusion, enables us to appreciate (and/or even do something about) the present. Published in Psychological Science, Kurtz proved his point by asking seniors from the University of Virgina to spend two weeks writing about their college experience and what they felt grateful for. Half were reminded “how little time” they had left for their course of study, and half “how much time”. At some points, the students also reported if they had engaged in various activities that day, such as spending time with friends, participating in clubs, or taking scenic routes to class. At the end of the fortnight, they rated their well-being (Kurtz, 2008; Hutson, 2009). As it turned out, those who framed their final six weeks as but a blink took greater advantage of the school’s opportunities and, perhaps because of the increased social engagement, they were happier.

Similarly, I thought this could work with the current topic. Indeed, the subject of “death” is the reminder to us that life is very short. Hence, we should all make the best of it, not by preparing ourselves to go to heaven like what some religious people would say (which I particially disagree), but ultimately, it is the decisions that we all make in life that determines our destiny at the end of it. So, to answer the questions of how can one define simplicity and good decisions, I would say that I cannot define them unless there is an absolute truth about life, which, I hate to disappoint you for this, but there just isn’t any absolute truth in life. There are many ways to live our lives and be responsible for our own destiny and the people around us. For me, there are some questions, which I would still ask myself, and you may like to take into consideration for these questions as well: (1) How would you want others to respond to your death or dying? Will they jump for joy and celebrate, would they be apathetic about it, or would they mourn for weeks? (2) Who would you want to see at your deathbed? Would you want to be dying alone, would you only want to see your love ones, or would you want to see the lives, besides your love ones, whom you have made a difference mourning beside your deathbed?

To clarify, I am not just talking about growing old and dying of old age, rather, I am referring to the inevitable fate of mankind, which is to die at any time because accidents (shit) can happen. As a young man, I used to think that death is something really far and distant, but honestly, after my narrow escape with death, it came clear to me that it is easier to die than to live. This is because living involves a continuous effort of making life meaningful, and this, is the hardest thing to do. I hope we can all reflect upon the reality of death and the consequence of not living life to the fullest.

I am still on a journey in discovering my talent(s), but in preparing for the inevitable, I have made one decision: to start off by re-creating this blog into a place for me to write about things that I want you people to reflect upon. It may be good for you in the long run, or it may cause you shy away from what is true or unavoidable. Whatever it is, I hope I can help more people develop their intrapersonal intelligence, because by being self-aware, one can easily work towards maximising his/her own strengths.